Transitional age is a test for both the child and the parents. And if during this difficult period a son or daughter has to move to a new school, the situation is ambiguous. On the one hand, it is not known how a teenager will behave, on the other hand, it is impossible to foresee what surprises await a teenager in a new team. Psychologist Katerina Demina talks about how to help a child adapt to a new class and not get into problems.
It is believed that, on average, a child takes 2-3 months to adapt to a new class, but, of course, everything is individual. And often in the fact that not everything goes as planned, excessive guardianship, pressure, and misunderstanding of parents play an important role. For example, questions from the series: “Well, how are things at school? Are you sure they don’t offend you?” only exacerbates anxiety. How to be?
Not a role model
First of all, stop fussing and imposing your own experience.
Often you can hear from dad or mom: “Yes, I changed five schools, and nothing! Come, get acquainted – it’s done. What is the tragedy?”, “Oh, it’s so hard. All strangers look appraisingly! I spent a whole year learning.”
Which parent is right? And no one
Projecting your experience, whether successful or not, is a bad practice. First, this is how you create certain settings. For example, there will be no problems, classmates will meet with applause, and the first beauty will fall in love at first sight. Or vice versa – that newcomers are certainly beaten and offended.
The child runs the risk of either being disappointed without hearing applause or falling into paranoia. Often the attitudes of parents complicate the already difficult
What to do? Discuss with the child a new stage, ask him about fears and doubts. Talk about how it’s better to be friendly, not provoke conflicts, not expect that friendship can be built in one day, and slowly delve into the life of a new team.
Near but not with you
Secondly, are there situations when a child communicates well with everyone in the class but does not start close relationships? He says that everything suits him, but the mother’s heart is not in place.
Some kids are really quite comfortable without a best friend. They do not need a confidant and a keeper of secrets at all. If your loner looks content, happily goes to school, and talks about his classmates, it’s possible that he really is “normal”. Moreover, psychologists believe that this approach is often characteristic of children with a high level of development.
Mistake: ignore school and teachers.
There is a solution!
Third. There are times when the class teacher can turn a blind eye to the persecution of a beginner or, conversely, zealously try to help and thus harm even more. In any case, your participation will be useful.
What to do? Go to school, talk to the teacher, talk about the character and characteristics of the child, show that you care and you are ready to have a dialogue. If from the first days at the new school everything went wrong – the newcomer was met with hostility, he is lonely and cannot find a common language with his classmates – share this with the teacher. He will be grateful to you and, most importantly, will be able to help. If he is aware of the situation but does nothing, then after talking with you he will have to act somehow.
In some schools, where everyone is a beginner (for example, lyceums, where they take only from the 7th or 9th grade), there are special rituals for acquaintance and rallying. Learn about them and discuss them at home. Even if a teenager winces and declares that this is all for the little ones, in practice he may like this game.
Try to have the child participate in school events (no, he won’t fall into deuces), go on trips with the class (no, he won’t be forgotten in the Carpathians) and go hiking (no, he won’t get sick). Allow them to bring their friends home (yes, they will destroy the apartment, but they will bring chips) and meet other parents. Listening to their conversations will help you get an idea of what is really going on in the classroom.
