Talking about sex is an important step toward improving the quality of both intimate life and improving relationships in general. Here are four questions to ask each partner before having sex with him.
So it’s time to talk to your partner! It is very difficult for people to talk about sex because this topic is taboo. But discussing this topic with a partner is extremely important. Not only will you trust each other more, but you will also improve the quality of sex and relationships in general.
How do I start a conversation about sex?
If this conversation has never happened to you, but you really want to start it, it is natural to feel a slight discomfort. How to start this strangest and most embarrassing conversation in the world? Here are some quick and helpful tips on how to start a conversation about sex :
- Talk in neutral and simple circumstances. For example, during dinner, or when lying on the couch and watching TV. This will allow you to be more relaxed during a difficult and embarrassing conversation
- Speak when no one is tired or upset. It is more pleasant and calmer for people to talk about sex when they are not burdened with other difficult issues – work, communal services, washing machine repairs.
- Listen to your partner, ask questions, and do not freeze, even if you are super uncomfortable.
You can start a conversation about sex with the following phrases:
“Did you like what I did last night?”, “What else do you like?”, “What do you like in our intimacy?”
What questions to ask your partner before sex
So, let’s start with the three main questions that should be asked before sex to each of your partners.
1. Have you been tested for sexually transmitted diseases this year?
This is a very important issue because sexually transmitted diseases can be asymptomatic in some people. There is nothing wrong with taking care of your health and taking care of your partner’s health, and you should not be ashamed to ask such questions.
A happy couple is a healthy couple! Remember this.
2. What do you want from sex?
This is a simple question to start with. But in reality, it can be difficult to answer, so you should ask other, related questions during the conversation. For example – to clarify what a person means. Think that you are a psychologist at reception and want to know more about the person.
Each of us deserves to enjoy sex. So you need to know what your partner expects from sex and what he wants. Does he need tenderness and kindness, physical contact or does he want something hotter, maybe try some interesting practice.
You will also have the opportunity to tell your partner what you expect from sex. This will significantly improve your intimate relationship.
3. What do you need from sex?
Sounds very similar to question number two, doesn’t it? But in fact, what a person wants often differs from what a person needs. Wanting is about desires, fantasies, and what a person thinks about when he is alone with himself. From the point of view of some psychologists, erotic dreams are what a person really wants, so they need to be interpreted correctly. But the need is what helps a person feel happy and safe.
Sexual needs are what make a person sexually active. How much sex does your partner need? How long does it take to wake up?
4. What does sex mean to you?
In order to build a healthy sexual relationship, you need to ask this question as well. If your partner can’t understand the question correctly, you should ask: why do you have sex? It is based on the answer to this question that you can build a healthier sexual relationship.
