I began this story on the day I realized that the career of a secretary was put to rest, and forever. I know that “forever” and “never” are the concepts of extremes, and one cannot promise oneself in life. But I decided for myself that even if I had to starve, I would still not work as a secretary.
Now I have a different job, a new team, and a different field of activity. How interesting and promising, I think, can be assessed later, but for now, I delve into the specifics of the work and get used to the new environment. And I can safely say that here I don’t serve coffee to anyone, I don’t obey my new boss immensely, now I’m a specialist, not a simple secretary.
And yet, I often notice how the habit of obeying tends to manifest itself in all its glory in a new job. There is nothing to be surprised, about because it was cultivated so diligently for a year. Now it will take time to forget the “role of the secretary” and leave it in the past.
Sometimes separate stories of one year from my life, the life of a secretary, are recalled by themselves …
So, how was it all?
Learning to Sit Back
When I first started working as a secretary, I wasn’t given any assignments. It was very unusual for me to go to work where there was essentially nothing to do. In general, I am such a person that I simply cannot be idle. Therefore, she herself had to look for a “work at work”, or rather, try to change idleness for employment.
I remember how I came to my reception room at eight o’clock, and the day began with cleaning the room. I took a rag and wiped the dust from my desktop, watered the flower, and rearranged folders with documents. And so it was time for lunch, then there was an hour-long break. In the afternoon, I looked at the clouds, passers-by, passing cars, sent messages and poems of my own composition to my friends by e-mail … and constantly looked at the clock, and time was in no hurry. The soul asked for creativity, and the mind demanded new knowledge, scientific statements, and concepts, but there was nothing, absolutely nothing.
And sometimes it seemed to me that I was getting a little stupider every day. I was not allowed to read books at the workplace, although there were several attempts on my part to read books from the series “How to become the master of your life”, and “How to become self-confident”, but this was stopped by one action – the arrogant look of the boss with all its strength reflected who here is the master, and who is the slave.
I never thought idleness could be exhausting. Sometimes it happened that I did nothing for hours. Each subsequent day was similar to the previous one. This was probably the most difficult for me.
Wash, comb, dress!
Exactly after a month of working as a secretary, the boss called me in the morning to his office for a conversation behind closed doors. I remember how I sat down in a comfortable chair opposite my director. The conversation turned out to be even, and the pros and cons of my work were highlighted. Yes, I was neat and polite, I came to work on time, I tried very hard, and the boss liked all this. As for the cons, to my surprise, it was said that I need to work on my speech. Should I go to a speech therapist?
No, everything turned out to be much easier. It was necessary to learn to speak something like the following phrases: “be kind, please sign the documents”; “please have your coffee”; “can I connect you by phone”, in general, permanently remove the imperative mood of verbs from your speech and be sure to add the magic words “thank you” and “please”. But, as luck would have it, or it was an unconscious protest, after the conversation I began to say more often: “come in”, “take it”, “sign it”, and not to anyone, but to my leader.
But most of all I was hurt by the fact that the boss was not satisfied with my appearance, especially my loose hair: “Do something with the hair!”. There were also wishes that I put on different blouses, skirts, and heels (yes, this is required by the position of secretary in almost any organization). Oh, it wasn’t easy for me!
A week has passed since the conversation, and I still continued to speak in imperative moods and dressed as best I could, sometimes I caught the displeased glance of my boss (with all this, they were not going to fire me).
Soon I decided on a biochemical perm, believing that curly hair would look good and well-groomed, and most importantly, he, my supervisor, would like it. I remember how I was sitting in the hairdresser’s, it seemed that I could barely sit out, the terrible smell during the perm procedure made me feel nauseous. But just the thought of the boss strengthened self-control and patience. I will say right away that the curly hairstyle impressed my manager, causing neither approval nor criticism. In a word, nothing.
Like an obsession, I began to spend every weekend in stores, only to buy myself a new blouse or trousers, so that I could come in new clothes from Monday.
I memorized the words of the subordinate employee, pronounced them, and allowed the boss to say commanding words, if only he was pleased. But still, something was wrong. What else did I need to do?
I couldn’t think of anything else but to please my boss. It was like an obsession… But one day a girl came to our organization for an interview. All so natural, almost without makeup, simply dressed. After her departure, the boss expressed his opinion in one phrase: “Wash, comb, dress!”. Apparently, only then will she be able to start working in our organization.
And I finally realized that striving to be someone who you are not, trying to dress things and do hairstyles that everyone will like: the boss, colleagues, acquaintances or random passers-by is a thankless and even treacherous thing in relation to oneself. That day I said to myself: “Enough!”
Understand the “fox”
I associate the word “fox” with a cunning, dexterous animal, which is characterized by flexibility in behavior, thinking, the ability to adapt to any situation, and always doing what will be beneficial.
At first, it was a discovery for me that “foxes” are found not only in the animal world but also among us. These are ordinary people, only with a “fox character”. It must be seen – how often and skillfully they take off their “fur coat of cunning” and become “white and fluffy.”
In the first days of my work, the “fox”, as I will call this employee, kept an eye on me, and how I coped with my duties. She beat around the bush, talked kindly, and tried to explain something and advise, but the “fox kindness” was enough for exactly five days, then workdays began for me, or rather fighting.
I remember how the “fox” once ran in all pale, holding the telephone receiver in her hands, and almost waving at me, shouted: “I will kill you!”. I was disgusted by such an attitude (even to a young secretary who made some mistake in her work). I began to fight: either I ignored or clumsily defended my rights. But, finally feeling my impotence, I no longer saw the point in continuing the combat everyday life. The period of rebellion ended when I “bowed my head” and tacitly acknowledged the victory of the “fox”. Since that day, she boldly dictated terms and was already less actively fighting for the #2 place after the boss.
It’s sad to admit, but I, the secretary of the head, served the “fox”, from serving coffee to complete consent and diligence in work. The fact that I brought her documents with a signature, or went to pick up documents, was a matter of course. Any of her instructions is like a law, of course, if it did not contradict the instructions of the boss. The word “no” to “foxes” meant “to go to the carpet.”
To recall further moments of tense relations, I think, does not make sense. I no longer hold a grudge against her, and it’s not worth waking up “famously” …
Even if I didn’t manage to understand the “fox”, I was able to accept her, the way she is. And also in relation to the “fox”, I learned a lot – from the ability to seek compromises and common topics in communication to endurance and patience.
To fight without weapons
And so I got on the first “carpet” in my life for such a simple reason that I decided not to obey and prove that I am not an errand girl. I rushed into battle with opponents who were unequal in strength or rather rushed into battle with those who were much higher in position, older in age, more confident, if not more self-confident. What did I want to achieve? Probably, stop obeying or prove that I am a Personality …
I remember how, after working for several months, I made a promise to myself that I would be here until the first tear. And here it is, a tear, in addition, to a mismatch of my principles with the principles of leadership, my vision of life, attitude, and theirs.
Unfortunately, I turned out to be weak, unarmed, and without any special oratory skills. The fight was lost by me, and from Monday of the new working week, I became a real errand girl.
As a result, it turned out that I had to run many times, back and forth and back, only so that there would be no more conflicts at work. There is no one to blame, she herself took such a position – a subordinate.
And then I decided for myself that in the months that remained here I would go to work according to the principle – I came, worked, and left. Every day the feeling that I did nothing, no realization, nothing but the realization that I was occupying someone else’s place, and at the same time I could not find my own, grew stronger.
It’s not serious!
The secretary is a girl of easy virtue. Nobody takes her seriously.
She is most often presented with something like this: thick painted eyelashes, high heels, importance in gait, silly head, frivolity (these are the main elements of her image), and, of course, pretty. Perhaps this is not only my opinion but an already established stereotype. I do not deny that there are exceptions. Then it would be more appropriate here to talk not about the secretary, but about the Secretary or the Personal Assistant to the head. But let’s not talk about that now.
And back to the secretary…
From my own experience in this position, I can say that men are often partial to secretaries. For example, I remember there was “Mr. Obeshchalkin”, a sociable and interesting young man. Brought up. Educated. He always addressed me affectionately by name, kissed my hand, asked about life outside of work, tried to introduce me as an assistant in social activities he needed, called, SMS, and promised a bunch of everything. That’s how it all ended. That is nothing.
There were other stories about air kisses that I only managed to catch, talk about the wedding, questions about fidelity, somehow even the bride turned out to be introduced, there were promises of meetings …
But I was a secretary. And this is enough for a man to behave just like that – NOT SERIOUSLY! Therefore, once again listening to the story from the “happy ending” series about how the secretary found love at work, for example, she married her boss, or his rich friend – a companion who ended up in the waiting room and fell in love with a girl at first sight with thick, painted eyelashes, more precisely in the girl secretary … Do not believe it. This happens, but rarely.
Another cup of coffee or the limit of obedience
One of the duties of almost every secretary is to make coffee and bring it to her boss on a silver platter. My duty was much more complicated: “coffee for everyone”, there was no one leader, but a whole management team.
I had a simple coffee maker at my disposal, which I “fell in love with at first sight”, but did not immediately learn how to work with it in unison. At first, the coffee came out cold, without foam, and apparently tasteless. I remember how someone from the leadership asked (jokingly): “What is floating in the cup?”. Then I was not yet intimidated, and I was not thrown into a cold sweat from the words “the director is coming,” so I calmly said: “Isn’t a piece of cat hair floating there?” (the stupid question was taken with humor). In fact, something similar to foam floated.
In my line of work, the duty of coffee making was perhaps the most important. Whenever I was asked to make coffee, I felt special, imagining myself as both an employee and a coffee factory manager. Here everything was in my power. I closely monitored the quality of my production, followed all the stages in the technology of preparing a drink, I even managed to establish the relationship between the effectiveness of a meeting and a cup of well-brewed coffee. I was really kind to the process of coffee brewing …
When some employees asked: “Are you making coffee again?”, – in response, I only smiled and proudly carried a cup to my boss or another representative of the management team.
Believe me, this is not such an easy task – washing cups, brewing, and serving coffee when the bosses or guests feel like it. I obeyed.
But any submission has its limit, and it came when the comic phrase “Coffee in bed” sounded more and more often (I want to note right away that there is no question of any close relationship with the boss in my case). For me, it meant – “It’s time to leave.”
In anticipation of freedom,
the Chief signed my resignation letter and left on a long business trip the same day.
But here’s what was strange. I was looking forward to this time (the time of release), and when it came, I was confused and did not know at all what to do. It was as if I was unprepared for everything to happen so hastily.
It would seem that here it is, the long-awaited freedom, but something similar to the habit of “being a secretary” acquired over the previous months was pressing on me, and quite strongly. Somewhere in the depths of my soul, sadness made itself felt. It was difficult for me to part with what had already become certain, familiar, and settled. Yes, I got used to people, to their characters, and demeanor, and even to my small office. But the choice was made, and I did not regret anything.
“Soon freedom,” I thought then, “but what will happen when it is in my hands, how will I dispose of it?”
Perhaps, for someone, working as a secretary is a dream. Maybe someone is still working in this position, everything suits and really like it. Or some nice girl with trepidation looks through the vacancies of “office – manager” or “secretary”, having an education, for example, pedagogical. Even so.
