There is a stereotype in society that only frivolous young ladies have sex on a first date. But time goes by, everything around us is changing, and we are gradually moving away from old stereotypes. We discuss whether it is normal to do this in a new article.
Myths about the rules of the first date
Every environment has its own rules for the first date, often derived from stagnant patriarchal dogmas. For example, how often have you noticed that a man is told:
“Ugh, are you easily accessible, since you had sex with her on the first date? Let him get you! Let him run!”
The answer is simple: I never noticed, because in the patriarchal system there is a myth that a man is polygamous, but a woman, on the contrary, is monogamous. This kind of stereotype is needed precisely in order to limit the freedom of a woman, including the freedom to use her own body as she wants.
Let’s open a little secret: in fact, your sexual needs and sexuality, in general, have nothing to do with your biological sex. They are influenced by attitudes towards sex, upbringing, personality traits, and even (wow!) unclosed gestalts. So all the rules forbidding sex on the first date are nonsense. Never fall for them and always think only with your head.
Advice from an expert sexologist
If everything goes well on the first date and you are drawn to each other, then the question arises, to give vent to feelings? Psychologist, sexologist of the reality “Exy” (New Channel) Natalya Yezhova conducted a survey on social networks to understand whether men and women are ready for sex on a first date. The results are exclusively shared with Liza.
“More than 5,000 respondents took part in the survey,” says Natalya. – Men and women noted that it is better to have sex on 3-5 dates, after 2-3 weeks of meetings.
Why are respondents in favor of having sex on the first date?
- Do not miss the chance to use your desire.
- When they realize that this is a one-time meeting.
- They want to check if the partner is suitable for sex.
- A holiday romance is an ideal situation.
- If it’s only sex, not a relationship.
Those who are against sex on the first date cited the following arguments:
- Love begins to emerge.
- Must be a serious relationship.
- Must learn more about each other (values).
- No need to sleep with everyone
- There must be one person for life.
“I would recommend that you have sex for 2-3 weeks, but the choice is always yours,” says Natalia.
Should you have sex on the first date?
Sex on a first date isn’t as scary as it’s made out to be. The answer here, if we discard all stereotypes, dogmas, and toxic attitudes, is quite simple:
Listen to your body and your desires.
If you’re on this date just to sleep with someone cute, but you don’t plan on getting into a relationship, getting married, or having kids, just do what you were going to do. If you don’t want sex on the first date, don’t have it.
Sex on the first date: the opinion of a psychologist
What thoughts go through the minds of men and women when they go on a first date? Fast and affordable sex is more attractive or alarming? Read the male opinion of psychologist Alexei Mashchenko.
Well, you finally met! Live. Because it was not easy: correspondence, photographs, persuasive telephone conversations, etc. Or they walked unexpectedly easily and spontaneously, met their eyes, smiled, liked each other, and agreed. But this, of course, is rare.
What is a date, especially the first one? It is an explosive mixture of excitement and fear. You can have an interesting, sexy eccentricity or an unattractive, hopeless stupidity with you.
And another question, of course, about sex: “Will it – won’t it, and what kind?” It is only in beautiful books and films that they write about passion knocking down, but in life these very legs sometimes do not hold and shake, words are confused and not found, especially from female impregnability and inaccessibility. After all, you want to impress and charm, well, to prove to yourself and to everyone who is who. In addition, it is known that legs are slender and not very, but the body is still an argument, especially for a man. And this body is still unfamiliar to you, like its mistress. In my life, I have only met a developed and sensitive woman only twice, who is able to remain herself on the first date, be natural, not follow stereotypes, and also understand and relax a man. I’m not talking about the mind and humor, that most often things are incompatible 🙂
Sex on the first date may or may not be, it all depends on the person, or rather, on the two. If a man is a sailor after a round-the-world voyage or a person who accidentally ate a kilogram of Viagra, and a woman is released early from places far from men, then everything will happen as it should, with minimal communication and mutual pleasure. But if a woman at the first meeting easily enters into sex, the man’s head clicks: “Is everything so easy and simple ?! No, there’s something wrong here!” This shepherd loves a sheep for its appearance and only a wolf for its content 🙂 An accessible woman is alarming, however, just like an inaccessible one.
If you refuse everyone and take care of yourself, this is a signal of danger.
Education stands guard over chastity and does not allow the natural element of sex to go free, therefore, in the head of a man and in the head of a woman, there are their own limitations. What will he think? What if I’m acting like a whore? Will he be fine? What else can you talk about with her? Will there be an election? And then what? It’s good if the date lasts more than an hour 🙂 Well, also alcohol … And then there are such dates, cooler than any exam or interview at the embassy.
Sex with a stranger can be amazing if mature people met not only with experience, but also subtly feeling each other, able to share, if you understand the difference between giving and giving.
Then it is something more than sex, it is enrichment on another level. But you need to grow up to this and meet someone who has grown up, and on your own, but in life, everything is possible, because, as my friend says, it is difficult to remain a person, but it is possible.
Sex on the first date: the opinion of men
What do men themselves think about sex on a first date? Is our feminine fear justified to seem like an easily accessible woman?
Ivan, 24 years old:
“Post-Soviet society is quite conservative and uneducated in matters of sex. Only in recent years has sex education begun to gain momentum. Courses, festivals are held, large chain stores bring new sex gadgets and toys to the Ukrainian market, people publicly write and talk about sex in social networks, etc.
For most members of our society, sex on the first date is a sign of polygamy and vulgarity (unfortunately, such a reaction is more towards the female).
In the last two years, Russian-speaking countries are beginning to actively use dating services (now I’m not talking about Mamba and other black sites for finding daddies and integrals). From Tinder, which has brought together dozens of couples, to the Pure app, where you just upload your photo and it will show the profiles of nearby men and women interested in non-committal sexual intimacy. For me, sex on the first date is a simple and straightforward story. The main thing is that sex is protected and safe, but that’s another topic for conversation :)”
Alexey, 36 years old:
“I have nothing against sex on the first date, on the contrary, if there is mutual sympathy and circumstances are successful.
I want to emphasize that my attitude and perception of a girl does not depend on whether sex is on the first or tenth date.
I know girls are concerned about whether they will look easily accessible if they give themselves the first time. In general, a lot depends on where you met. If, for example, friends introduced you, then it is unlikely that there will be sex right away. If you met on vacation, then somehow everything is conducive to quick sexual contact. Also, what kind of background do you have? If you, for example, corresponded on a dating site and spoke frankly on many topics, then it is more likely that you are mentally ready for sex.
Denis, 40 years old:
“I have a positive attitude towards sex on a first date 🙂
Proximity puts a lot in its place. And it becomes clear to you what this girl means to you.
Was it a one-time communication or do you want to continue? In general, I do not see the point in playing long games. I appreciate liberated and free-thinking women. I’m interested in them.”
Igor, 33 years old:
“You can play long-term, but why, if there is a mutual desire? If there is no desire, will it appear?
I know enough men whose sex on the first date ended in marriage (in the sense of a wedding).
Nikolai, 25 years old:
“I don’t see a problem with sex on a first date. If you immediately realized that it’s not your type for a relationship, then there’s nothing to delay. And sex will clear things up.”
Vitaly, 29 years old:
“I initially asked myself what I want from this girl I meet. If I’m in the mood for a long-term relationship, then I can wait until she’s ready for intimacy. And in principle, it is not against meeting and communicating without sexual contact for as long as she needs. Of course, if there is sex on the first date, it will be a nice bonus. So it all depends on my goal. If my goal is just to sleep, then naturally I want to get what I want as soon as possible.”
Andrey, 52 years old:
“I think it’s strange to put the question like that. It turns out not about relationships and not about sex, but rather about dependence on public opinion. And even then, does society clearly indicate which date should have sex? Although women probably have a lot of flies in their heads about this. I hope the men have less. If both are happy to have sex on the first date, why put it off? For fear of what he/she will think of me? About my availability, depravity, etc.? It is clear that it is bad if adults are guided by fears when making decisions.
I am for sex on the first date, as it is an indicator of the ability to be yourself and follow your desires. Do not be led by fears and public opinion. Moreover, the question of whether a person is sexually suitable for you is decided at the first meeting within the first few seconds.
Now that you know more about it, you can always decide for yourself whether or not to have sex on the first date.
